Just a random post today!
Yesterday I put a mirror and a shelf up. I am usually good with tools, but not no more….burnt my finger with friction, constantly dropping tools and could not manage the straightness of the shelves…..even though I had a spirit level haha.
Will I accept help from others? Hell no!!! I need to relearn and want to figure everything out for myself and do a good job so I can look back and say to myself….see, you can do things on your own. Is this such a bad thing? Do you find your self doing the same thing after a TBI? Is it a way of self developing my own brain, or could this be an obsessive thing (not accepting help) because people have mistreated me in life? By mistreating, I mean people doing stuff for me to keep me quiet or expecting something back in return.
I often wonder about it….its almost like I need to be strong and capable. I do not want to be seen as having a disability and I will do what ever it takes to show I am good at stuff. Yet it exhausts me, takes me a year to decorate one room haha, and it is actually hard work due to the ‘it has to be perfect’ or it irritates me.
Anyone else struggle with this, and how do you cope with it?